Saturday, May 3

A series of emails that show my complete lack of vulnerability...

On the way to growth, there comes a time to prune. I feel a great bush-whacking coming. Oh f***. An individual that I had been communicating with on EH for the last two or three weeks suddenly cut me off. Denied. Rejected. Audios. Nothing. Here is the correspondence, changed only for his privacy. Perhaps it will be more clear to you than I. Although, it's looking more and more clear. It's like looking at myself through idiot-colored glasses:

WARNING: Long and ridiculous

Some context for the conversation:
My email to him:
I am not attending a church right now. I'm part of a community group, christians that have one for one reaosn or another left the church, myself included. We meet on Sundays and do that same thing, without all the crap and baggage that we have experienced in church. It's a much more authentic experience: just living life with others. I went to a new church with a friend this morning, and left half way through. I was kind of disgusted with the whole thing. People with hurts and desire, dreams, plans, coming together ONE time a week, if that, and still visibly remaining so disconnected from the community they say they're a part of.
Do you go to church?

#1 From him
[...]I agree with you that Christ is hope (& that's what I meant in my last post)....the reality is, we -- you & me -- as christians, are part of the "body of Christ" -- we are part of the universal church like you say.

Anyways, I think your interest in Monastic living is intriguing - honestly...there have been persons throughout the years who have taken that route (of living at a monastery). Some remarkable insights and quotes have come from persons in monasteries (can't give you specifics from the top of my head


Not sure if you want to continue going into philosophy/theology with me. lol....anyways, I think you're stunning, and I like your personality as it unfolds...I won't be on eharmony much longer, but would love to continue talking...

My Response:
That's an interesting way of putting it...personality unfolding.
Do you have any more pictures?
(He had only posted one, that was a far away shot so I couldn't see his face. Eyes are really important to me, they have to be kind and observant. That's a question worth asking, right?)

#2 From him
not at the moment...

what's "The Spectator Bird" about?

(That's weird, I thought. I described it in my profile already. Why ask?)

My Response:
So to be honest, I'm not sure if I want to continue communicating. Not because I'm not interested, but I have a lot going on, and while you seem good at evoking details, you give very few personal ones about yourself. How very counselor-y of you!

Where do you see yourself next year? In five years? Tell me about your closest friend. If you don't have one,why not? Do you want kids? What is your greatest fear in life? Why? (And spiders don't count!)

To be fair...I will answer these as well. After you. ;)

#3 From him
I wish you the very best ...!

You're a beautiful girl -- and I know the right guy is out there for you...

Take care & have a great summer!

My Response:
OK. Awkward. But thanks. You too!
(My thoughts: Ok...that was awkward. How do you go from "beautiful, unfolding personality" to, "Good Riddance!" in less than three days?)

I realize only now, after looking at it like this, how awkward the whole process is. Why did I think this was a good idea? I'm hoping this is computer error, because I look completely emotionally immature.

1 comment:

Anna said...

what a strange bit of communication - it was almost like he was responding to things you weren't saying...and not responding well to what you were. how frustrating! another bit of "life experience" to tuck into your belt? i'm still having NO LUCK on EH. at least people are communicating with you - even if it is poorly?