"Something's Missing"

It's definitely a John Mayer day. I don't listen to a lot of him, I own one cd, and I'm not sure which. But his voice seems to match the overcast skies, and my downtrodden mood. I think it mostly makes me think of fall, and coffeeshops, and good friends, of to whom I am not such a great friend in return.

Fall makes me mournfully remember the past, and at the same time, urges me to think of the future. It's usually around this time of year that I make grand plans, and reconcile with myself the plans that I did not accomplish in the last year.

I'm also reminded that it's the simple thing in life that are what make it worth living. Leaves turning color, breezes that ruffle your hair, and walks among trees. I don't know why I can't embrace my inner simpleton. I feel like I'm constantly striving for more, rather than being grateful for what is present. I know part of it is purely coveting that which I don't have: the ability to discuss things of larger importance, politics, changes in society. I can't and don't want to talk about those things. Instead, I want to loudly discuss last weeks high school football game, who is getting married and having babies, and the best way to cook the abundance of squash my neighbor cheerfully donated for a church or neighborhood potluck. Those are things that aren't part of my life, that if I could be honest with myself, I want more than anything. I guess, to sum it up, fall makes me honest.