Tuesday, July 29

no place like home

Again, in my quest for contentment, I'm assessing whether I want to stay in this town. AHHH! I feel like this is a never ending decision.

Pros: family (also a con)
sunshine through most of the year, including the winter
Friends are nearby
Some pretty sweet coffee shops
Small enough to feel like you know people
Big enough to meet some new ones
(I don't know if I can count this...) I found a really cute apartment downtown, close to said coffeeshops, but far away from family and friends :(

Ok, I think that's it.

Cons: family (too close to feel like I'm a real adult, close enough to keep me grounded)
It doesn't rain NEARLY enough for my taste
Friends (at least a few of them) are leaving ASAP
coffee is everywhere,
Small town atmosphere breeds small-mindedness despite three, THREE universities in the area
No single men, at least ones of a non-Mormon background
All the single men that are of non-Mormon origin spend every waking second in the mountains (if you could call them that)
I'm not interested in the lifestyle activities available, all of which require great amounts of time, money and athletic ability

I just feel disconnected, and connection isn't helping. But I don't know where I would go if I did leave. I don't necessarily want to go to where I started from; I would feel like I was failing in some way, though I know that's not quite right. But after more than two years, I don't like it here anymore, and instead have lost the bright eyed, bushy tailed optimism that has buoyed me thus far.

I was talking about just this thing with a friend yesterday. She was born and raised here, left for college and ended up back after six years away. We have both come to the conclusion that while not a bad place to live, and in fact probably just the kind of city I would want to raise a family, I'm twenty four and single. I don't belong in a community who has no place for me.

No comments: