Wednesday, March 12

bodily functions

So remember how I've been not feeling so hot in the digestive department? Well, I think I've become suddenly lactose intolerant. Which sucks, because I love milk. Like, I would marry it if I could. I love to guzzle down an ice cold (so cold it makes your ribs hurt when it gets that far in your body) glass after dinner. And now I can't.
So I've replaced my yogurt with soy-gurt. I'm testing a couple soy milks to find one that will suffice, and I'm avoiding cheese.
I don't know for sure that that's what's causing all this rumbling, but I do feel better when I don't eat it.
Here's the thing. I don't eat that much meat anyway. I do a few times a week. And if I were to analyze my diet (like I should) I would probably find that I eat more than I think I do. But I have a feeling I'm on my way to being a vegan-by-default. And I'm not sure how I feel about that.
So I had a chicken with cheese sandwhich for lunch today, and boy, I think I should not have.

On another note: I got a comment on my MySpace wall yesterday from a girl I used to know. It was kind of mentor/mentoree relationship. And she commented that I "have lost sooo much weight! You look great!" All the ooo's were there. It was weird. It was at least the second or third comment from one of the girls I worked with while in college who said that to me. I have posted a few more recent pictures, but not a lot. And for them to comment on my appearance kind of makes me laugh. Partly because that's what gets their attention and gets us back in touch again. And partly because even when I am heavier (I don't say "was" because I never know what the future will bring) I don't think about it a lot. I try to be happy with my life, no matter what it looks like. That can be hard. Sometimes really hard if I'm honest. But there are bigger things to worry about, and more intense problems in the world than how much I weigh.
I'm happy with how I look. Not always, not even most days, but in general. The thing is, I know I'm beautiful. Where it counts, and to who it counts. And I don't worry about the rest. So when people make comments like that, I don't hear "you were so ugly before," or "you could be so much better than you are now." I hear, "the words I'm saying have no meaning, and I don't really know how to compliment you other than this."
more on this topic to come, I'm sure.

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