FRAGMENT (FOUND INSIDE MY MOTHER)
-Nick Flynn, Some Ether
I kept it hidden, it was easy
to hide, behind my lingerie, a shoebox
above my boys' reach, swaddled alongside
my painkillers
in their childproof orange cups. I knew my kids,
curious, monkeys,
but did they know me? It was easy
to hide, it waited, the hard O of its mouth
made of waiting, each bullet
& its soft hood of lead. Braced
solid against my thigh, I'd feed it
with my free hand, my robe open
as if nursing, practicing
my hour of lead, my letting go. The youngest
surprised me with a game,
held out his loose fists, begging
guess which hand, but both
were empty. Who taught him that?
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