I think I finally realized why I've been feeling so incomplete lately.
Last week I flipped through the pages of a book that so correctly AND IMMEDIATELY encapsulated things I've been trying to put into words for the last few months.
I don't belong here.
I am not in a place, literally and figuratively, that nourishes my soul. That lifts me up and encourages me just by driving to work, by walking the streets, just by being among the people that call it home with ease.
I'm looking for an apartment with vigor...spending any spare second I have (and even those that aren't spare, but that I can scrape together anyway) to no avail. And part of my unhappiness with my search i think ,is that I know I'm not suppossed to stay here. The discontent I feel is soul-deep. It's not just not liking a location or the leaders, it's a general unrest, and uneasiness that makes me long for other things. greater, bigger, smaller.
I don't know if my search will be fruitful, or fruitless, but I will keep looking and see what comes up with the advent of spring. Perhaps something that will make do until my great epiphany.