Friday, March 28

It's the pits

Last night, I spent some time with friends. It was actually really fun. I know that sounds weird--spending time with friends should always be fun. But I sometimes have a hard time relaxing, just being, with people. So my relationships, no matter how hard I try to resist this, stay small.
They were hosting a traveling musician. She was living the life, that if I could let go and not worry about all the things I'm currently worrying about, I want to live. Bohemian, and earthy, girlish and slightly ethereal. It was nice just to talk. To relate.
We stayed sitting on the couches, late into the new morning, just talking about experiences in the last year that even though so different, were kind of similar. And a new friend was made. I hope.

I must admit, I did say something stupid that before I even realized I was thinking it (because really I wasn't thinking) it had jumped form my lips, and laid on the floor, creating an awkward silence between all of us. I didn't like that I said it, but I don't know that it was necessarily a bad thing to say.
And this morning, after too few hours of sleep, I did my hair, and the fun eye liner thing.
And forgot my deodorant. Yuck.
I can never seem to get it quite right. Some pieces are there. Some fit so perfectly together. But then one thing falls apart and mucks it up.
The story of my life.

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