I had coffee with a friend yesterday. And it made me think how much things change. How much you can change in such a short amount of time. Or maybe, how quickly time goes, and before we know it, we have become different people.
I looked at this friend and didn't recognize them. All the mannerisms were there. The same hair, and familiar hands. But your eyes were vacant; void of any emotion, even when the voice was telling me you were so excited. I wanted to badly to believe you. But I didn't. And I don''t. And that's ok. Because it's not up to me.
And the only thing I came away with is this thought: what am I doing to nourish my soul? How am I making sure my eyes match my voice, my hands stay familiar to those I love, and my heart close to those I care about? And I'm not sure I have an answer.
There is so much that I'm doing. And just doing. Nothing is exciting, nothing is hopeful.
I want my life to be
CareFull, friendly, generous, open, gracious, sexy, learning, loving, beautiful, simple...
And so I knit. But in an effort to better myself. Better myself? In an effort to create for myself a hobby, a way to relax, I learned something new. Rather than relax in something familiar and restful, I felt it necessary to challenge myself. The word stresssult comes to mind.