Tuesday, January 22

Tuesday Blues

I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed. It hit me like a slow crash of waves today. I'm in a lot over my head right now.

And in ways that alone wouldn't matter. And in ways that to most people don't matter. And really, even if I stop and think about it, it doesn't matter. But I guess emotion doesn't discriminate.

My brand new computer isn't working right. And a small thing like that, becomes bigger when I think about all that was sacrificed to buy me that computer, when I think about how much I'm counting on that computer working correctly, and when I realize I've scheduled my time around it. So when it doesn't, I feel trapped in time and space.

I'm "behind" at work. Not really, just not quick enough, sure enough or ambitious enough.

And I'm feeling ambivalent about a lot of things: choices I have made, need to still make, and have put off making. And those loom above me like a marionette puppet. Did I ever mention I'm afraid of puppets.

Ah, the week is almost half over. Is it sad that I'm looking forward to the weekend and it's only Tuesday?

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