Sunday, December 5


What people don't say, more than how they may say the words they actually communicate to me, speaks volumes. Not only about the person but about myself. My roommate, for example, does not speak to me. She may throw out the casual greeting, but our actual conversation has remained limited since I've moved in. The reason for this I don't actually know. I do however know that would we to ever exchange words, they would probably not be very kindly. Why do I know this? She is the most mannipulative person I have ever met. If I do something she doesn't like, she doesn't ask me to change my behavior, instead she changes it for me, assuming I will then do it her way the next time. Example: I left a gift someone brought over for me on the table by our front door. It was small and unintrusive, and I wanted to remember to take it with me to my car the next time I left the apartment, hence the reason for putting there. When I came home, it was in a pile of other things she has begun to place in a pile that are mine. She does not ask me to move my trinkets or wait for me pick up after myself, instead she just does it. I find this annoying and actually really more rude than my habit of leaving things layig around. Mostly because I don't leave that many things out in the open, and if I do she throws then in a pile before I have the chance to collect them. Case in point, I want to move out.

Secondly, I am an eye-contact fiend. Some call me an attention whore. This could be true. I volunteer with this man who is of similar age as myself, but who cannot bring himself to acknowledge my prescence outside, and sometimes during, volunteer related functions. It drives me crazy. Not only will he not say hello or engage in other falsely friendly conversation, but he won't make eye contact even if he has put himself in the same circle of conversation as me, and greeted everyone else. It DRIVES ME NUTS! Am I intimidating? Or is he shy? does he just not like me even though he has no basis for any judgment being that we have never talked?

I just don't understand. I like everyone, and if I don't I feel justified, because I make judgement after having known them for quite some time. I have known my roommate for three years and liked her until now. Just goes to show you should always live alone, never making eye contact with anyone in order to avoid frustration caused by anyone other than yourself.

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