hurts so good

The seriousness with which I workout has waivered back and forth the last few months. But I seem to be a pretty good kick right now, and it feels so good.

In case you haven't heard (in which case, your ears have been removed because I'm talking about it constantly) I'm training for a triathlon. It's a short event, but it will take the whole summer to get prepared. I have been keeping close tabs on the forums over at beginnertriathlete.com, which is amazing resource. They also have alist of training plans, one of which I officially began today. It was pretty good, and with a few modifications I made it work for me.

I also recently found some awesome workout music that's available through free downloads! How sweet is that!? motiontraxx.com and podrunner.com are two of these. They are based on the idea that if you run to a certain amount of beats per minute (BPM) then you will have a more consistent and rigourous workout. I really like the one I used today from podrunner. I'll let you know how it goes when I get to the one from motiontraxx, but it's a little more advanced than I am at the moment.

Well, for now I'm going to shower and get myself over to the bike shop so I can get my road bike all fixed up. I'm so excited about being able to ride on a real bike, rather than the little fakeys at the gym. Woo Hoo!

YES!

I've been sitting in this coffee shop for an hour. "Reading." I have my text, complete with highlighter and notebook open for...well...notetaking. And have yet to read a single word. I glanced through the table of contents to verify that it wouldn't be too painful. Less than 50 pages. I just can't bring myself to do it.

Instead, I decided to search for a new laptop bag online. I have a waterproof North Face bag that I LOVE. I bought it two years ago on a trip back to visit my college town. Nestled behind the DaKine and Trager bags of the little locally owned sporting goods store was this little blue gem of a bag. And it still looks nearly new. It was a pretty penny (at least, that's what I thought at the time) but has totally been worth it. So imagine my glee when I stumbled upon the same bag, only bigger and blacker. No, for reals. It's 18x15, big enough to hold my Goliath laptop (that I love still BTW) and all the crap I carry around with me. And it's black.

What more could a girl ask for...?

Who's that lady?

So, bear with me as I begin to tell a story:

On Saturday night, I was shopping at Home Depot (I know) with my mom (shut up) looking for a curtain rod (ok, I get that I'm pathetic, stop laughing!) As I was approaching the check out, a woman came up behind me, placed her hands on my shoulders and said to me, "You are classy. I just wanted to tell you, you look really classy." Now, beside the fact that she touched my shoulders (not really a huge deal, since I have few personal space issues) the fact that she would approach a stranger with such a comment that seems more personal than otherwise, kind of weirded me out. I do appreciate the compliment, but immediately I second guessed her motives. Was she making fun of me? I was not wearing anything, or acting in such a way, that seems to warrent such a declaration. Perhaps I simply appeared classy over all? Either way I'll take it.

Also on Saturday, I had one of the best conversations I've had in a while. I think I forgot how much I like listening. The cadence of the voice, the tone and rythm and the way that some people have with words. I have been so inwardly focused lately. What do I want, what is good for me, how can I be successful...Not that in and of itself those musings are bad. But By themselves, or in accordance with one another, they make for a sad and lonely world within oneself. I realized that I had stopped doing everything I love. I'm not volunteering right now, I'm not spending time with and learning about people. I need to do that. Now. It was a nice, subtle reminder that I am here on this earth to be with others. I thought of something I wrote a few years ago, and included (I think) in my Senior Portfolio. I'll find it and post it.

By Indexed.
I'm not usually much for including politics on this, my, blog. But I couldn't help myself.

This is GREAT.

I wish I had seen it live.


So...is that how the national budget ended up in the shitter?

Pants

The weather has finally decided to take a turn toward crisp. While it's been below a hundred for the last few weeks, it's still been too warm for any more than a layer or two. I'm excitedly awaiting the day when I wake up because my sheets have that cool spot near my toes, and I have to kick my toes as if I was swimming, just to warm the sheets enough for those toes to settle there.

So, in preparation for cooler weather, I need pants. Not just any pants you see. I need non-denim, professional pants that say both "Obey me," and "I'm cool, I'm approachable." That's a tough feat.

You see, I begin Student Teaching in a few short weeks, and while I feel like I've addressed this previously, the dress code in the school is um...boring. I can't wear jeans, except on Fridays, and because I'm going straight from the school to work, these pants are going to need to work as hard as I do. And still appear feminine. 'Work Pants' has a construction-worker-I'm-going-to-get-dirty connotation to me. Anyway, I kind of forgot where I was going with this. I guess the moral of this story is I need pants.

I want to go to the pumpkin patch.

This just in...

Q: How is one supposed to respond when running into the person that one is having an illicit affair with for the first time in public?

A: "How was your weekend?"
"Good. I drank a lot. I was in pretty rare form."

Pretty pathetic, really.


More on this topic later.

This is some funny shit...

Vacation

I love vacation. I have slept in (in my own bed, after being in Seattle for a week) the last four days. I woke up not even sure what day it was. That is a great feeling. It's days like these that make me think I could really live out of my car, finding odd jobs only to pay for gas, and a bi-weekly shower in some skanky motel (let's be real, I wouldn't dig the unclean part.)

I woke up, made myself a smoothie,drove to the foothills and took a quick hike. I realized just how out of shape I was when I took the wrong trail, which ended up being much steeper and physically demanding than I was planning on it being. But it was good to feel my legs throb and my lungs expand, looking to fill themselves with the air, dust and shrubbery smells.

Now, I'm back in my usual coffee shop, getting things done and make preparations for life to begin again next week. Emails have begun to trickle in...giving me directions for fingerprints and meetings about student teaching. Class starts soon, and while I'm excited, I'm not sure I'm ready for the whirlwind that I know it will be to begin.

Ah...I will enjoy my time, and the view of some local firefighters sitting next to me, while I can.

What to say...

I just returned from Seattle, where my pregnant sister is living with her husband. I spent three days painting the tiniest room in their townhouse a lovely "moonshine" yellow, and aside from realizing just how much I like it here, not a whole lot else.

I made pudding this morning. I had a yearning. Unfortunately, I made it with soy milk and it didn't quite congeal like it's supposed to. But after eating a slice of cheesy pizza for lunch, I was reminded of the options before me: dairy=gas, soy=no gas. I'll go with the latter.

no place like home

Again, in my quest for contentment, I'm assessing whether I want to stay in this town. AHHH! I feel like this is a never ending decision.

Pros: family (also a con)
sunshine through most of the year, including the winter
Friends are nearby
Some pretty sweet coffee shops
Small enough to feel like you know people
Big enough to meet some new ones
(I don't know if I can count this...) I found a really cute apartment downtown, close to said coffeeshops, but far away from family and friends :(

Ok, I think that's it.

Cons: family (too close to feel like I'm a real adult, close enough to keep me grounded)
It doesn't rain NEARLY enough for my taste
Friends (at least a few of them) are leaving ASAP
coffee is everywhere,
Small town atmosphere breeds small-mindedness despite three, THREE universities in the area
No single men, at least ones of a non-Mormon background
All the single men that are of non-Mormon origin spend every waking second in the mountains (if you could call them that)
I'm not interested in the lifestyle activities available, all of which require great amounts of time, money and athletic ability

I just feel disconnected, and connection isn't helping. But I don't know where I would go if I did leave. I don't necessarily want to go to where I started from; I would feel like I was failing in some way, though I know that's not quite right. But after more than two years, I don't like it here anymore, and instead have lost the bright eyed, bushy tailed optimism that has buoyed me thus far.

I was talking about just this thing with a friend yesterday. She was born and raised here, left for college and ended up back after six years away. We have both come to the conclusion that while not a bad place to live, and in fact probably just the kind of city I would want to raise a family, I'm twenty four and single. I don't belong in a community who has no place for me.

weather report

Today, after a late start to summer this year anyway, it almost felt like fall was coming early. I am super excited already to wear my sweaters, scarfs and layers of abominable things. I hope that it's cold this winter, really cold, the kind of cold that makes your nosehairs freeze, even when they're no boogers on them. That's the best kind.

I'm really looking forward to that.

where should I go?

I'm thinking about taking a vacation to sort some things out, clear the cob webs and such. Do a little soul searching. Geez...I'm not even twenty five, and it seriously feels like I'm having an identity crisis. Where would you suggest I go?

Leave your suggestions in the comments!

goal setting

Last year I took up knitting (which I really to get on. All I have to show for that little endeavor is an incredibly long scarf that I haven't been able to wear yet, a few gifts and a basket full or yarn I wish to one day whip up into something glorious.)

I think I would like take on gardening. Aside from all of the hipster-chic, hippie connotations that gardening in the city (of which I do live in, kind of) takes on, it would be a personal challenge to keep something other than myself alive. I was inspired by some of the things I've read and seen over at Homegrown Evolution: Gardening in an Apartment Windowsill, (though I'm not sure I'm ready to take on humanure....) and want to live more sustainablly.

Continuing Education Credits

I've been thinking about getting my MFA in Creative Writing. After I finish my MAT, of course. What do you think?

Why, yes...

I'm thinking of doing something more official. More regular, if you like. Adding a little fiber to the blog here.

I know I've wavered on whether or not to start a professional blog or not as I'm starting my student teaching in the next few weeks here (is summer's end really that close?) so in the mean time, I've come up with an idea. Posts on Thursdays will be classroom, education and learning related, whether in response to another post, and article or video I come across, or just musings on observations I make on my way to teacherdom. I'm hoping that these will be well thought out, well written, and insightful (BOY, is that a lot to ask for!) posts that I spend some time on. I'm working on one now, or I should say, I'm thinking on one now, and will post it Thursday. Sometime. No deadline. Maybe early Friday. I take late papers.

Along with other things:

I have lots of ideas. Some good, some requiring a lot of follow-through which I never foresee, and some just plain ugly. One of my most recent ideas was to ship in some butterflies, bought off the internet of course, and watch the caterpillars turn into chrysalises, and then finally butterflies. This sounded awesome! Oh the kids would love it! It fits so nicely with our theme! Cheap entertainment! And then...how exactly to you hatch butterflies? Well, by putting them into a million individual cups of course. And then, safety-pinning them *rather the lids they form the chrysalis on) to a Pavillion (read: synthetic net to keep them from flying.) And then, when they do finally start emerging, you must feed them...

This is where the following conversation takes place:

Apparently able-minded Adult: "Oh wow, are those real?"
Me: (No I made them with little motors so they would fly like that, just so you could ask me such a stupid question) "yep!"
Apparently able-minded Adult: "Their so cool! Do you see Johnny!?"
Me: (continue to carefully open the butterfly pavillion so as not to disturb the unhatched critters, and place flower blossoms and small amounts of sugar water in the bottom)
Apparently able-minded Adult: "Do you have books on the Fourth of July? Where would those be?"
Me: (Well, I would love to put the lives of these lovely creatures at risk simply to answer your self-serving, simple minded question, when look! there IS a catalog over there!) "Yes, in the holiday section. I can help you in a minute."

Sometimes I want to say those things out loud. Is that wrong?

luck o' the white girl

But I did today! Tickets to a sweet show to be exact...from the radio. I've never been so excited to be put on hold in my life! I think I should play the luck game a little more often!

priorities

Check out my wordle here.

I'mma spit da truth...

"1Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly." James 3:1

This is your life...

If you are currently a student pursuing a degree, and working full time AND trying to keep some kind of life intact. It has become coffee, coffee coffee and more coffee with the obligatory reading and pastry when necessary.

I'm happy to report that my goal of running a triathlon next year has some momentum...the kind you often associate with large moving object...slow and steady wins the race, right? I've worked out (I can barely call it that, but at this point in my life, where my job requires that I sit for hours endlessly, any kinetic activity is fabulous) three times this week, plan on making tomorrow morning number four, and am looking forward to seeing some results from the effort. Even if it's just finishing the dang race. In addition to my excitement, three or four other people in my program have started thinking and talking about doing one too! How cool is that? Maybe we could just take over a whole race and run together? All the teachers with matching t-shirts come racing across the finish line...wouldn't that be cute?

In other news, I've received a wild number of hits on my blog since it was posted over at our friends This Week in Education. And I've been toying with the idea of a professional blog again. I think I might have to. This one sure is a lot more personal than I thought it was, and to mix this much pleasure with business will inevitably cause problems. Opinions, thoughts?

Thanks for reading, keep it coming!